Trust Represents All Hues
The variables keep changing. How am I supposed to keep up?
I hope my efforts and resources for this paperwork are not wasted!
I’ve met with a professional, but I still worry that I’m missing some angle.
These exasperations are common among many individuals as they face completing a will, healthcare directive, legal guardianship, or any other paperwork involving legal comprehensive or complex plans. Worry, anxiety, doubt, and fear take center stage. People view life in absolutes, rather than as a spectrum. Decisions are challenging because life circumstances are constantly changing. Life isn’t pro forma.
Our finite minds want to know all the answers, to have control over outcomes, to be successful in every challenge, and—above all—to make expedient and knowledgeable decisions as part of our legacy. These patterns, often driven by another’s “should’s” or society’s mandates—lead us to unrealistic expectations, fixated on success or failure. Yet, there are hues of choices in between.
Consider galaxies, planets, seasons, weather patterns, and animal and plant kingdoms. There is no control involved. These entities simply unfold in their own ways. When their forms deviate, they don’t obsess about success or immediately label themselves as failures. Even though control of circumstances or expectations is an illusion, humans continue to rely on familiar behavior patterns, only to feel repeated stress. How can people move beyond this loop? Let’s get some ideas from a conversation between Higher Self and Ego.
Ego: Making end-of-life decisions and completing paperwork are harder than I expected. I know it’s never too early to think about my wishes yet putting them on paper seems like too great a leap. Anxiety makes me wonder if I’ll ever be ready.
Higher Self: Recall another major decision you’ve made in your lifetime. What was that like? Was there a pattern?
Ego: Well, once I tried out for the role of Henry Higgins in My Fair Lady. It was a community musical, and I had performance experience in high school and college musicals. It sounded like fun!
Higher Self: You showed up, gave your best effort, and had no expectations either way, When you’re not focused on results, you feel more at ease. You’re not resistant, and things flow.
Ego: Yes, I landed the part and went on to audition for a role in a summer musical. I felt momentum. I guess that’s a pattern. It seemed easy. But that’s not the way I feel about this paperwork!
Higher Self: What do you think is the difference?
Ego: I feel like my comments need to be perfect because once words are on paper, they’re permanent. My responses should take into account every imaginable condition. But it’s too much to absorb—so much that I can’t see alternatives. I just feel frustrated and stuck!
Higher Self: Sounds like expectations are stressing you to the point of immobilizing you. Just a suggestion: All paperwork can be revised.
Ego: Gosh, you’re wise.
Higher Self: Did I hear a compliment? That’s a first, but no matter. So, what motivates you to complete this paperwork, and what might be some realistic expectations?
Ego: I want others to know my wishes. I’m thoughtful regarding support and realistic about its impact on the lives of my loved ones. I’m ready for the task and share my reflections, but—deep down—I worry that this is still not enough.
Higher Self: Your awareness is admirable. You are enough. Your ideas are strong and true; they’re not dependent on others’ demands. You’re a quick learner, so I know that the occasional, surprise curve ball will not trouble you. Every day you demonstrate your willingness to move through life’s challenges. Your authentic colors show. Revel in that. You can’t worry and trust at the same time. Choosing trust overrides worry, anxiety, doubt, and fear. Trust is expansive and represents all hues.
Ego: [Pausing, pondering these words] I’m feeling ever so much lighter. Trust leads to broader thinking. It’s a relief to hear that I don’t—nor am I expected to—control what happens. AND, outcomes don’t define who I am.
Higher Self: The universe unfolds mysteriously in elegant, efficient, and expansive ways. Humans need not know “how” things evolve; they need only show up and trust.
“Some pages are meant to be
written in the dark,
without knowing the ending—trust
that the light will name them when the time is right.”
~Dede Hawkins
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