getting to forgiveness

Ego: It’s not fair! I told Patti, in confidence, about a newly-discovered breast lump from my recent mammogram. She told someone else in our women’s group, and now everyone knows. I haven’t even returned for a follow-up screening yet. It was my story to tell!

Higher Self: That’s a tough one.

Ego: It was an insatiable personal urge to tell someone so that I would feel some comfort; however, it turned into a nightmare.

Higher Self: Even words presumed as confidential carry no guarantee that they will be honored as such. Feeling betrayed is difficult—a trust has been broken.

Ego: I don’t think that I can ever talk to Patti—again! For all I know, others are thinking that I have only six months to live!

Higher Self: You and Patti are long-time friends. It seems as if she acted out of character. You remember that her sister had breast cancer two years ago. Perhaps your news brought back scary memories.

Ego: I don’t know. It makes me angry, though. Maybe I should call her and tell her off!

Higher Self: Try looking at what has happened from a different angle—with an accepting and loving heart.

Ego: Fat Chance. If I let her off the hook by forgiving her, what’s to stop her from deceiving someone else?

Higher Self: Try to separate Patti the person from her behavior. Usually a kind and gracious individual, Patti forgot to be sensitive to your needs. Perhaps she was overwhelmed by your news and panicked.

Ego: Make no mistake: She just didn’t think!

Higher Self: I know her actions have made you upset. I believe that she had an urgent need to enlist help from others to support you.

Ego: Her behavior hurt me!

Higher Self: Have you ever made a tacky, thoughtless comment about someone when you didn’t realize that person was within earshot?

Ego: No! Never! (pause) Well, maybe, but I didn’t mean it. I was just kidding.

Higher Self: The comment was still insensitive, right?

Ego: I guess.

Higher Self: See how easily we can slip into our humanness? First accept what happened. Then offer forgiveness because it eases you out of situations with potential long-term negativity by imparting divine love into the mix. Mentally extend compassion and benevolence toward the person who “wronged” you. Finally, have gratitude for another way to witness Source. Accept. Forgive. Love. Extend. Gratitude. Remember that forgiveness is not about the other person. It is about you.

Ego: I can’t do that!

Higher Self: You’re not ready to do that, yet. Raise your consciousness to another level. When you focus on the divine spark of Source within you and within the person responsible for the grievance, you understand that you both are one and one with Source. What you do to others, you really do to yourself.

Ego: I need to think about your words.

Higher Self: Withholding forgiveness hardens your heart and compromises your health. It is divisive and causes separation.

Ego: (looks away)

Higher Self: Inner wisdom breaks open your heart. Over time, your attitude and disposition will be transformed. You’ll hold yourself (as well as the “abusers”) in acceptance, forgiveness, divine love, and compassion. This is a “sure remedy”!

Unity co-founder Charles Fillmore offers a way to practice forgiveness as found in a 1924 Unity publication entitled, “A Sure Remedy.”

“…Sit for half an hour every night and mentally forgive everyone against whom you have any ill will or antipathy. If you fear or if you are prejudiced against even an animal, mentally ask forgiveness of it and send it thoughts of love. If you have accused anyone of injustice, if you have discussed anyone unkindly, if you have criticized or gossiped about anyone, withdraw your words by asking him, in the silence, to forgive you. If you have had a falling out with friends or relatives, if you are at law or engaged in contention with anyone, do everything in your power to end the separation. See all things and all persons as they really are—pure Spirit—and send them your strongest thoughts of love. Do not go to bed any night feeling that you have an enemy in the world.”

Source intends goodness to enrich every aspect of our lives, lessons in bounty. When we do not forgive others and ourselves, we interrupt that circle of fullness. This negatively affects every aspect of our being, physically, emotionally, and mentally.

~paraphrased: Science of Mind, “Our Need for Forgiveness,” Ernest Holmes

You may find this all-inclusive prayer of forgiveness to be meaningful: “I forgive everything, everyone, every experience, every memory of the past or present that needs forgiveness. I forgive positively everyone. I also forgive myself of past mistakes. The Universe is love, and I am forgiven and governed by love alone. Love is now adjusting my life. Realizing this, I abide in peace.”

~Catherine Ponder, Unity Movement


From a higher vantage: Recognizing the need for forgiveness and practicing it leads to miraculous heart transformations and increased personal happiness.

©2017 Barbara L. Krause

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